5 Stages of Deodorant Disappointment

Abigail Scott

Finding a natural deodorant that works and keeps your body free from toxins, irritants, chemicals is a roller coaster of emotion that usually ends in dismay. You’re forced to buy a ticket to get back on the ride. If you’ve struggled to source a non-toxic, organic deodorant that eliminates stank and doesn’t irritate your pits, it’s likely you’ve experienced the 5 stages of deodorant disappointment.

It’s not me, it’s you.

You board the crowded subway and grab a hand hold only to catch a whiff of garlicy-musk so strong it brings tears to your eyes. You think to yourself that this bout of body odor must be coming from someone else in the packed transit car. You bought this deodorant yesterday, after combing through countless reviews. Yeah, that scent totally belongs to someone else. We’re in a heat wave after all and these bozos probably didn’t do as much investigation into their pit products.

The WTF Stage.

You sit down to lunch with a friend at a cute outdoor patio and reach across the table for the pepper only to catch another pungent whiff. Hint: it’s not your salad niçoise. What the ever-loving hell is going on here, you think as you vigorously pepper your lunch. Why is this new deodorant not working? Should you dab at your ripe pits with the delicate linen napkin across your lap or rush to the bathroom to a quick PTA bath, minus the T and A?

Perhaps-ing your way to Pit Perfection.

On your walk back to your coworking space, your mind starts churning. Maybe you really do need to detox your pits for this natural deodorant to work. Perhaps you just need to wait a few weeks and keep using it, day in and day out for your body to grow accustomed to it. No other personal care products work like that though, do they? Perhaps if you just commit to reapplying it every few hours, you can stave off stink until some magical ingredient kicks in. You pick up another stick on the way back and reapply hurriedly in the drugstore bathroom.

Unbridled Dismay.

You return home at the end of the day only to discover your cat doesn’t even want to nuzzle up against you. You sniff your pits and alas, the B.O. is back, baby, with a vengeance. You make a mug of hot tea, sink down on the couch, and begin to sulk. Bear hugs, conga lines, and high fives disappear in the rearview as you soldier on into a decidedly solitary future.  

Unacceptance.

Like you, we’ve worked our way through the four stages many times, only to find that the fifth stage – buying another stick of deodorant in hopes of achieving healthy, fragrant pits – was not good enough for us. We decided that we were going to hop off this emotional rollercoaster entirely and make our own deodorant. One that is actually non-toxic. One that works. One that offers people the chance to try it without fear of throwing hard-earned money down the drain.

 

Enter stage left: Pit Liquor. Denatured vodka and whiskey kills the bacteria that live in your armpits. Within seconds, the light alcohol scent evaporates and leaves behind naturally scented essential oils, like lavender, pear, cedarwood, or rose. Teas, arrowroot, and salt make your armpit undesirable for new bacteria to grow, resulting in good smelling underarms all day long and no chemical regrets. Each body responds better to either the rum, vodka, or whiskey base and we are happy to help you find deodorant heaven.

 

It’s time to get off this ridiculous ride. You’ve got better things to do. Try Pit Liquor. If you don’t love it, your first one is on us.

Comments

  • Posted by Kim Sagers on

    I love your product! I would love more clove in it, but I find some in the Whisky Black Pepper, so I am happy. I will be a customer for life!

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