The fact that you use Pit Liquor already tells the world that you’re a badass, conscious consumer who cares about their body and the environment. Go you! But did you know that the scent you choose might also have a little something to say about your personality?
Your fun-loving and adventurous spirit knows no-bounds and truly thrives in the scorching summertime. Despite soaring temperatures, you throw on a yellow swimsuit and coverup then bike to the river to bathe in mama nature’s chilly waters. You’ve recently started letting your body hair grow because you're so over modern beauty standards but you’re not totally sure you like how it looks and feels - yet. You’re definitely a kid at heart and not totally sold on the adulting thing so you shirk some responsibilities - like parking tickets, anything post office related, and bringing that box of clothes to the thrift store. However, you are responsible enough to hold down a few jobs that allow you to buy farmers market produce and afford a new pair of Birkenstocks. Priorities, baby.
Whiskey Old Fashioned
You’re a crisp white shirt and blue jeans kind of guy or gal. Your collection of bolo ties is something to marvel at and you’ll always choose John Wayne over John Krazinski. As a child, your parents giggled at your “old soul” as you steeped a cup of Earl Grey before cozying up with a good comic book. Now, you’re an elegant adult who has both a typewriter and a record collection because life is meant to be savoured in a slow, meaningful way. Even if that means you have to lug a heavy typewriter and complete collection of Agatha Christie novels around every time you move apartments, you’ll bite the bullet and do it. John Wayne would be proud. Whiskey Old Fashioned sold out? Make your inner Annie Oakley proud with Whiskey Lavender.
Roses & Champagne
Oh you fancy, huh? Well why the hell wouldn’t you be? Life’s too short not to treat yourself to a dozen roses and champagne in your cereal. You’re decadent and your friends love you for it. You take things over the top - surprise birthday party for your cat complete with 200 balloons? You went there and it was so damn fun for everyone, except the cat. It’s likely that you have a few too many vintage dresses in your closet that you haven’t found an excuse to wear. No worries, you’ll throw a Queen’s Gambit-themed party one day soon and you won’t need to shop for an outfit. But you probably will anyway.
You’re always on island time baby and we ain’t mad about it. Start times really are just a suggestion and you always roll up looking cool as a cucumber, ready to go with the flow no matter where it takes you. You're a windows down-AC on type and your low fuel light is constantly on. But you’ll be fine for a few more miles, surely. Nothing ruffles your feathers, not a global pandemic, not a tumultuous election, not even when Jamba Juice runs out of pineapple and can’t make your favorite Caribbean Passion smoothie. If on the off chance you get the slightest bit flustered you simply pause and ask yourself, “WWJBD” or “What Would Jimmy Buffet Do”?
Move over Paul Bunyan. There’s a new lumberjack in town and he wears that flannel well. You spend your leisure time building the tiny home of your dreams that you’ll soon whisk away to the mountains. Cold winter mornings don’t bother you, in fact, you love the excuse to split wood out back with your grandfather’s ax, then come in from the cold and sip a cup of strong black coffee, only to feel your beard grow thicker and even more luxuriant. Your loofah is a pine cone and you’ve recently decided to only eat meat that you hunt yourself. It may be a lean winter but you’ve almost perfected your rabbit stew recipe.
Find your perfect scent, here.
Finding a natural deodorant that works and keeps your body free from toxins, irritants, chemicals is a roller coaster of emotion that usually ends in dismay. You’re forced to buy a ticket to get back on the ride. If you’ve struggled to source a non-toxic, organic deodorant that eliminates stank and doesn’t irritate your pits, it’s likely you’ve experienced the 5 stages of deodorant disappointment.
It’s not me, it’s you.
You board the crowded subway and grab a hand hold only to catch a whiff of garlicy-musk so strong it brings tears to your eyes. You think to yourself that this bout of body odor must be coming from someone else in the packed transit car. You bought this deodorant yesterday, after combing through countless reviews. Yeah, that scent totally belongs to someone else. We’re in a heat wave after all and these bozos probably didn’t do as much investigation into their pit products.
The WTF Stage.
You sit down to lunch with a friend at a cute outdoor patio and reach across the table for the pepper only to catch another pungent whiff. Hint: it’s not your salad niçoise. What the ever-loving hell is going on here, you think as you vigorously pepper your lunch. Why is this new deodorant not working? Should you dab at your ripe pits with the delicate linen napkin across your lap or rush to the bathroom to a quick PTA bath, minus the T and A?
Perhaps-ing your way to Pit Perfection.
On your walk back to your coworking space, your mind starts churning. Maybe you really do need to detox your pits for this natural deodorant to work. Perhaps you just need to wait a few weeks and keep using it, day in and day out for your body to grow accustomed to it. No other personal care products work like that though, do they? Perhaps if you just commit to reapplying it every few hours, you can stave off stink until some magical ingredient kicks in. You pick up another stick on the way back and reapply hurriedly in the drugstore bathroom.
You return home at the end of the day only to discover your cat doesn’t even want to nuzzle up against you. You sniff your pits and alas, the B.O. is back, baby, with a vengeance. You make a mug of hot tea, sink down on the couch, and begin to sulk. Bear hugs, conga lines, and high fives disappear in the rearview as you soldier on into a decidedly solitary future.
Like you, we’ve worked our way through the four stages many times, only to find that the fifth stage – buying another stick of deodorant in hopes of achieving healthy, fragrant pits – was not good enough for us. We decided that we were going to hop off this emotional rollercoaster entirely and make our own deodorant. One that is actually non-toxic. One that works. One that offers people the chance to try it without fear of throwing hard-earned money down the drain.
Enter stage left: Pit Liquor. Denatured vodka and whiskey kills the bacteria that live in your armpits. Within seconds, the light alcohol scent evaporates and leaves behind naturally scented essential oils, like lavender, pear, cedarwood, or rose. Teas, arrowroot, and salt make your armpit undesirable for new bacteria to grow, resulting in good smelling underarms all day long and no chemical regrets. Each body responds better to either the rum, vodka, or whiskey base and we are happy to help you find deodorant heaven.
It’s time to get off this ridiculous ride. You’ve got better things to do. Try Pit Liquor. If you don’t love it, your first one is on us.
It's awesome to find a truly natural deodorant that works! You kind of want to shout it from the rooftops, right? With arms confidently raised because YOUR PITS DON'T STINK!
Go. For. It. Sharing is caring because friends don't let friends stink. Here you'll find a fun launch list of 5 people in your life who need Pit Liquor in theirs!