It's the most wonderful time of the year. Twinkling lights shine all around, holiday decorations fill the stores, and you thoughtfully purchased gifts for your beloved wife and everyone else on your list. Wait... what are you getting your wife for Christmas?

You definitely don't want to repeat last year's mistake. That ironing board may have been something she needed, but it most definitely did not qualify as a gift. Note to you: don't buy household items unless your wife specifically asks for them. And even then, just don't. This year you want to make a big gesture and show her how thoughtful you can be and how much you appreciate her. Well, never fear, the Pit Liquor fairy is here! As a woman-owned, women-run business, we know what your wife really wants for Christmas. Are you ready? 

She wants a break. An honest to goodness, rest-without-anyone-bothering-her, minute/hour/day to herself.

This has been a tough year for us all, and your wife has become a super hero juggling work and kids and life as a whole. We know you appreciate her more than you could ever express, and we also know it can be hard to translate that love into a gift. We have the perfect gift trifecta for you: a few thoughtfully chosen, good for her body products to guide her toward the rest she needs and deserves.

First up: our new olive oil castile soap. This small-batch, handmade soap will wash away all her worries, leaving her smelling sweet and fresh. It's gentle enough for her face, hands, or body, and is easy to travel with once life returns to normal. With lavender, orange clove, and lime to choose from, you can find one that suits her perfectly.

Next, add our lavender bath tea. Healing umkaloabo, calming sea buckthorn, and Epsom salts combine with lavender and four other powerhouse healing herbs to pamper her and leave her rejuvenated. Fill the tub, add the tea, and let her soak her way to happiness. Bonus points for soothing music and candles.

Finish your perfect gift trio with our fan-favorite deodorant. She'll smell so good and feel so fresh she won't sweat the small (or big) stuff that's coming her way. We love coconut rum paired with our lime soap, lavender for a triple soap/tea/deodorant trifecta, or chai spice with our orange clove soap.

Pull these three together (we'll even gift wrap them for you) along with a dedicated, on the calendar day to herself before year's end. Take the kids or the dog and leave her to wash her cares away. No phone calls, no cleaning, just rest. After 2020, she deserves it.

I have discovered, in recent years, that I am a master of self-criticism. I can critique myself on anything from the color of my hair to my attitude to the way I say hello to the grocery cashier. The holidays amplify this. I am suddenly hyper-aware of the way my house looks, my (lack of) gift wrapping techniques, and the Christmas cards I do or don't send. I wonder what family members or friends think about me, my gift giving, my holiday style, my very soul while silently berating myself for things no one would ever say to me. 

Sound familiar?

What if we change things up this year? What if instead of criticizing yourself, you celebrate the amazing person you have become? Here's the thing: even if you only ever criticize yourself silently, the people around you notice. They see your anger or your sadness or your self-pity. They become the recipient of your criticism too, even if you don't mean for that to happen.

The bottom line? Changing your inner monologue and treating yourself kindly is an act of kindness to those around because you won’t be the worst version of yourself.

Let's give it a try. I'll be your guide as we learn together to change our inner narrative, which will in turn change our outer attitudes. We might not be able to change this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year, but we can certainly change our inner dialogue.

Holiday Photo Cards

You know the drill. Your mailbox fills with shiny cards from every Facebook friend and extended family member you forgot you had. Each photo is more perfectly coordinated than the one before. How is it possible that your friends all lost five pounds and learned how to be a model during 2020?! Suddenly, sending out your own holiday cards with that candid photo from last summer seems like a terrible idea.

The Lie: An inner dialogue pops up in your head that says something like, "These people are so much more attractive/beautiful/handsome/thin/curvy/fill-in-the-blank than me. Clearly, they have their lives together in a way I never will. Look how happy they are, while I struggle with depression over here." If you drill down to the bottom of your self-criticism, you are believing that something is fundamentally wrong with you. You just don't measure up and you have no idea how to fix it.

The Truth: A dear friend once told me that when I compare my worst to another's best, I will always lose. Those holiday cards are another family's absolute best moment. They got out of their sweatpants for an entire hour and put on extra makeup specifically for the photos. They don't actually look like this all the time, just like you don't wear leggings and a pony tail every day of your life. Your family, appearance, or life may look very different from theirs but that doesn't mean it's insufficient or insignificant. Differences are worth celebrating, not shaming ourselves over.

As you leaf through holiday cards, take a moment to send good wishes to all your family and friends who are trying just as hard as you to make this year the best it can be. Then thank yourself for your beautiful body and all the happy memories you made with your loved ones this year

Holiday Hosting

Inviting family or friends into your living space can feel equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. You suddenly feel the need to clean all the things, decorate with holiday spirit, and buy enough food to feed an army platoon. A small holiday gathering can quickly go from simple to overwhelmingly complex and expensive.

The Lie: It's easy to believe the state of our home/apartment/room reflects who we are as people. We think that when people walk inside our doors, they judge us for a pillow out of place or a ring around the toilet upstairs they'll never see. We tell ourselves this was a bad idea, our home isn't up-to-snuff because it doesn't look like one from a magazine.

The Truth: The real reason loved ones visit during the holidays is that they love to be together. You invited people because you want to be with them, not because you want to them to be guest judges on "DIY Home". There will always be people who judge your living space or even you, but those aren't the voices to listen to anyways. The people who truly love you will be delighted to see you no matter what color your carpet is or the absence of a Christmas tree.

Before you host your next gathering, make a point to simplify the day. Pick no more than three things to make or buy yourself and ask others to bring the rest. Light a few candles to bring in the holiday spirit, turn on festive music, and call it a day. Everyone will have such a good time with stress-free you that they won't notice or care if your snowman collection is missing from the mantle.

Holiday Traditions

Instagram is a highlight-reel of traditions come December. Elf-on-the-Shelf, holiday cookies, walks through the snow, visits to Santa, and more flood your screen in all it's picture-perfect brilliance. You tell yourself that your small stocking stuffers and store-bought sugar cookies aren't enough to make Christmas magical. You are failing on an epic level. Your kids will basically grow up emotionally destitute because you didn't do a 12-days-of-Christmas extravaganza.

The Lie: Holiday magic + elaborate plans = happy loved ones, right? Wrong. This equation sets you up for failure, because the more elaborate your plans, the more overwhelmed and stressed you become. The more stressed, the more angry or hurt or sad you become which typically makes your loved ones unhappy. By believing your people will only love you and have a good holiday through your own efforts at winter magic, you set everyone up for disappointment and fuel the fire of your inner critic who already believed you were going to fail.

The Truth: Your family and friends love you because you're you. They don't expect you to put on a song and dance routine every Christmas (unless you're David Rose, and then you definitely should). Every personality, no matter how exuberant or introverted, has something to celebrate. Find something that brings you joy and share it with your loved ones. They'll be so much more delighted to share something you love than to do a hundred forced Christmas activities while you yell at them.

Pick your favorite traditions or poll the people you live with. Choose no more than five and ditch the rest. You'll be so much less stressed it won't matter that the Elf never made his appearance this year.

Are your ready? Take off that self-criticism like a bad manicure and get ready for a joy-filled, self-loving holiday season. It will be your best holidays yet.

 Melanie lives near Raleigh, NC with her husband and three kids. She loves hot coffee, good books, and deep conversations. Connect with her on Instagram via @intentional_motherhood

"Always be a little kinder than necessary." JM Barrie

As 2020 draws to a close, we could all use a little extra kindness in our lives. Kindness to ourselves, kindness to others, kindness to the world around us. Here at Pit Liquor, we're committed to showing kindness to our world through our sustainability program, and through our top-notch customer relations. Did you know that National Kindness Week is November 9-13? Let's kick off the celebration with a few stories about kindness, both big and small. 

Small Kindness

When I think about small acts of kindness I often think of the classic "pay for the person behind you" idea where you pay for your own food or groceries as well as the person in line behind you. I'll be honest, I was a skeptic about this idea for many years. I always worried I would be the one using my last $5 to cover a millionaire's coffee order. Of course, good judgement is always wise, but let me tell you how much of a difference this can make.

One day not very long ago, I was having the absolute worst week. Everything that could possibly go wrong did. I was upset with my partner, our house was  a mess, our money wasn't stretching as far as it should. Our children were being generally terrible, I was in a particularly bad disagreement with a family member, and I was feeling really lonely. While I was out running errands, I stopped by my favorite local coffee shop for a much-needed caffeine boost. As I stood in line, all I could think about was the weight of bad things I was carrying in my heart. It took everything within me not to cry right there at the coffee counter. I managed a small smile and half-hearted "How are you?" to the barista, who joyfully responded with the news that someone had paid for my drink. I was flabbergasted. I could have afforded to pay for the drink myself, but the fact that someone else cared enough about me to cover the cost meant the world to me. I'm not exaggerating when I say that small act completely changed my day. I suddenly realized there was a big wide world out there beyond my own struggles. Everything was going to be ok.

Kindness Through the Mail

I imagine almost every person in the world, including you, is feeling the pain of being separated from loved ones this year. My best friend lives several states away, and it has felt particularly difficult lately to live far apart. We spend time on the phone or using video-message apps, but it just doesn't feel the same as a hug or in-person conversation. It probably doesn't help that we have five children between us, so our time is often full-to-bursting with online school and parenting and potty-training.

My best friend holds that title for a variety of very spectacular reasons, but one of her extra-amazing qualities is her talent of sending thoughtful notes and gifts through the mail. Every month or two, she'll send me a handwritten note or small gift: a box of chocolates, stickers for my kids, a little something she picked up because she was thinking about me. None of these have been expensive or elaborate, but her kindness on an ordinary Tuesday often transforms my whole week.

In our digital age, I have forgotten the power of a handwritten note. The notes my friend sends always make a point to tell me something specific that she loves or appreciates about me, and to speak kindness and encouragement to my heart in some way. Now that we've been in quarantine for over six months, I have a whole stack of notes in her loopy handwriting that I can look through when I'm feeling especially discouraged or lonely. This small, seemingly insignificant kindness on her part has bolstered me through the one of worst years ever. Imagine if we all began writing notes to those we love, near and far.

Sacrificial Kindness

Have you ever noticed how hard things seem to hit all at the same time? You lose your job and break up with your partner in the space of a few weeks. You lose multiple people who matter deeply to you in one season. It sometimes feels like all the hard parts of life gather together into one giant rain cloud that unexpectedly lets loose in a life-storm of difficulty. I've certainly experienced my share of painful seasons. A few years ago my husband and I battled infertility and then a miscarriage while he was working extremely long and stressful hours at work. We lost two grandparents in the space of six weeks while I was in my third trimester with one of our daughters. Another time my then-4 year old had her tonsils out the same day my youngest was almost hospitalized with bronchitis. (I have a lot of children so it seems my struggles regularly coincide with something child or pregnancy related. I now refer to some memories as "that year when I was pregnant with somebody." Clearly, I live in a zoo of small humans.) 

Here is what I have found to be true about these difficult times: When your life feels like it is literally falling apart at the seams, people show up. It might not be the people you thought it would be, but there is always someone who brings kindness right when you need it most. When my husband and I lost his grandparents, his boss sent me flowers and a few friends made us dinner. When I miscarried while my husband was out of town, a friend drove me to the hospital. Another friend simply sat on my couch with me while I cried. Last year when I had two very sick children, a friend brought milkshakes and stayed with one child while I took the other to the doctor. Even in the darkest seasons, there are people in your life who truly care about you, and who will cross oceans, literally or metaphorically, to offer kindness in your times of greatest need.

I hope each of these stories inspires you to spread kindness to those around you in small and big ways. Happy World Kindness Week!

We've recently been thankful to walk beside a father who's navigating a really challenging time in his life. 

Danilson became a father the same day he lost his beloved wife. To make matters worse, he had no way of feeding his new baby. The cost for two weeks of baby formula was equivalent to an entire semester of college tuition. He had no access to that kind of money and was facing some grim realities as he grieved his dear wife. It's a situation we would never have known about, but our friend Iliezer and his English student Irina who is also a nurse at the local hospital in Guinea-Bissau were able to intervene.

Above is Irina and Iliezer. These two people are responsible for helping their community and bringing hope to otherwise painful situations. We believe firmly that the solution to problems facing West African countries is found through locals who take initiative and are given access to resources (money). Local people understand their context and have the right approach to help most effectively. Irinia and Iliezer are just such incredible people. Through their efforts, in just over six months, four lives have been saved and over 20 other people have received life-changing assistance. School costs have been paid, micro-loans have been given and repaid, and mostly, medical bills have been paid.

At the beginning of August, we sent a wire transfer to West Africa. On the other end, Iliezer picked up money with Danilson. Together they went directly to the store to purchase what equates to nearly six months of baby formula.

Why so much at one time? Resources like baby formula are not guaranteed to be available. Iliezer knew it would be best if we knew there would be plenty for the near future for little Ivonilson. 

There's no way around the fact that this is still a very sad situation given the loss of Ivonilson's mother. His life will be marked by that loss, as will Danilson's. But Ivonilson, who carries forward his mother Ivone's name, will have a life to live and stories to tell. And who knows, but some day, he might play a part in helping others around him.

For now, Danilson's radiant smile and those two boxes of formula are lighting up our hearts. We look forward to seeing that baby grow and grow. 

Thank you for purchasing a product with a conscience. This was directly caused by the influx of orders that came from our story on CBS in June. We have the best customers! Thank you!!